100 Star Wars Jokes for Real Fans!

100 Star Wars Jokes for Real Fans!

Star Wars is a space opera and as such is a genre that is not really associated with comedy. Although the nine films had their fair share of humor – the Original Trilogy’s was more sophisticated and subtle, the Prequel Trilogy’s was a bit more flamboyant, while the Sequel Trilogy’s was Marvel-like – Star Wars isn’t really a genre you’d associate with comedy.

Still, as it is with the internet, things can get out of hand, and people came up with a bunch of great jokes. Some of these jokes are only for fans, while others are more obvious, but they’re all guaranteed to make you laugh. Here at Fiction Horizon, we bring you the 100 best Star Wars jokes.

How Long Would it Take to Watch all the Star Wars Movies?

General Star Wars jokes

  • What sound do Yoda’s sheep make?
    Day go baaa.
  • What do you call a Sarlacc Pit that only speaks in ironic mockery?
    A Sar-chasm.
  • What do you call a redneck Star Wars fan?
    Bubba Fett.
  • Trying to come up with jokes about Star Wars is difficult.
    Sometimes they seem a bit too forced.
  • So my friend decided to get a face tattoo of her favorite Star Wars character.
    You should’ve seen the Luke on her face.
  • Oh, sure everyone loves Star Wars on May 4th…
    Until you tell your nephew you’re his father!
  • I found out I was colorblind by watching Star Wars.
    I couldn’t see the green screen.
  • Did you know Chuck Norris was in every Star Wars movie?
    He played the Force.

Star Wars jokes about the Jedi

  • Why shouldn’t you ask Yoda for money?
    He’s a little short.
  • Why do doctors make the best Jedi?
    Because a Jedi must have patience.
  • Why did movies 4, 5, and 6 come before 1, 2, and 3?
    Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.
  • Who is short, green and plays the cello?
    Yo-Yo Da.
  • Which program do Jedi use to open PDF files?
    Adobe Wan Kenobi.
  • Which Jedi became a rock star?
    Bon Jovi-Wan Kenobi.
  • What’s Yoda’s advice for going to the bathroom?
    Doo-doo or doo-doo-not-do.
  • What do you call Kenobi triplets?
  • What do you call five Siths piled on top of a lightsaber?
    A Sith-Kabob.
  • What do you call a Sith who won’t fight?
    A Sithy
  • What do you call a Jedi in denial?
    Obi-Wan Cannot Be.
  • What did Yoda ride as a kid?
    A do-cycle. Because there is no tri.
  • What did Obi-Wan tell Luke when his young apprentice was having a difficult time using chopsticks at the Chinese restaurant?
    “Use the forks, Luke.”
  • My wife says she’s leaving me because of my obsession with Star Wars.
    I said, “Please don’t go, honey. You’re the Obi-Wan for me.”
  • How long has Anakin Skywalker been evil?
    Since the Sith Grade.

Star Wars jokes about the heroes

  • Why does Princess Leia keep her hair tied up in buns?
    So it doesn’t Hang Solow.
  • Why didn’t any of Luke Skywalker’s marriages last?
    He always followed Obi-Wan’s advice: “Use divorce, Luke.”
  • Why couldn’t Luke find love?
    He was looking in Alderaan places.
  • Where does Princess Leia shop for Father’s Day?
    At the Darth Maul.
  • Where did Luke get his cybernetic hand?
    The second hand store.
  • What Star Wars character sells hotdogs?
    Admiral Snackbar.
  • What was Lando’s nickname before he became a skilled pilot?
  • What is Admiral Ackbar’s favorite type of music?
  • What do you call two Han Solos singing together?
    Han Duet.
  • What do you call an eel that loves the new Star Wars trilogy?
    A More-Rey Eel.
  • What do you call a rebel princess who only shops at Whole Foods?
    Leia Organic.
  • What did the dentist say to Luke Skywalker?
    May the floss be with you.
  • What did Leia’s adoptive parents say when she used to sleepwalk as a child?
    Uh-oh, it’s the rise of Skywalker.
  • What did Han Solo say to the waiter who recommended the haddock?
    Never sell me the cods!

Star Wars jokes about the Empire

  • Why was Darth Vader bad at sports?
    He always choked.
  • Why did the tapeworm stay far away from Palpatine?
    He didn’t want anyone to say he was in Sidious.
  • Where does Kylo Ren get his creepy black clothes?
    From his closet.
  • What was Tarkin’s favorite brand of toilet paper?
    Charmin to the last.
  • What position does Darth Vader play in baseball
    The Umpire.
  • What goes, “Ha, ha, ha, haaaa…. AGGGHHHH! Thump”?
    An Imperial Officer laughing at Darth Vader.
  • What does your Canadian friend cooking dinner for you have in common with the Empire from Star Wars?
  • A storm trooper walks into a pub and asks the barman, “Hey, have you seen my brother?”
    “I dunno,” says the barman, “What does he look like?”
  • What did Darth Vader say when he walked into a vegetarian restaurant?
    “I find your lack of steak disturbing.”
  • What did Darth Vader say to the Emperor at the Star Wars auction?
    “What is thy bidding, my master?”
  • We don’t want to sound racist but…
    All stormtroopers look the same to us.
  • Stormtroopers in quarantine are like, “I miss people.”
    I’m not too sympathetic. They always miss people.
  • No, I mean where does Kylo Ren buy his clothes?
    From the mall. I mean, have you seen how much Kylo Ren stuff they have there right now?
  • How does Darth Vader like his toast?
    On the dark side.
  • How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for his birthday?
    He felt his presents!
  • How did Darth Vader cheat at poker?
    He kept altering the deal.

Star Wars jokes about bounty hunters, criminals, villains and other loveable scum

  • Any space smuggler will tell you, never try the blue milk at the Mos Eisley cantina.
    It’ll give you the Kessel runs for twelve parsecs.
  • How do Tusken Raiders cheat on their taxes?
    They always single file, to hide their numbers.
  • I asked my wife to dress up as a bounty hunter from Star Wars.
    I have a Boba fettish.
  • I put on a porn movie for Han and Greedo.
    I’ll let you know.
  • I went to a sale at the Maul.
    Everything was half off.
  • Jabba the Hut is fat.
    How fat is he?
    He’s so fat, Obi Wan took a closer look and said, “That’s no moon.”
  • What do you get if you mix a bounty hunter with a tropical fruit?
    Mango Fett.
  • What is Jabba the Hutt’s middle name?
  • What was General Grievous’ favorite band?
  • What’s the difference between Boba Fett and a time machine operated by Marty McFly?
    One’s a Mandalorian, and the other’s a manned DeLorean.

How long do wookies live

Star Wars jokes about Wookiees, Ewoks, Gungans, and other aliens from around the Galaxy

  • Why did Chewbacca get sent back down to play minor league baseball?
    He was making too many Wookiee mistakes.
  • Which website did Chewbacca get arrested for creating?
  • Where do Gungans store their fruit preserves?
    Jar Jars.
  • What’s the internal temperature of a Tauntaun?
  • What’s Jar Jar Binks’ favorite meal?
    Miso soup.
  • What side of an Ewok has the most hair?
    The outside.
  • What do Jawas have that no other creatures in the galaxy has?
    Baby Jawas.
  • Star Wars fans don’t smoke cigarettes after sex.
    They chew ‘bacca
  • How does Wicket get around Endor?
  • How do you unlock doors on Kashyyyk?
    With a woo-key.
  • What is the name of the Gungan who became a taxi driver?
    Car Car Binks.
  • How do you stir fry on Endor?
    With an e-wok.
  • How do Ewoks communicate over long distances?
    With Ewokie Talkies.
  • Have you tried the gluten-free Wookiee treats?
    I heard they’re a little Chewy.
  • Did you know Fozzie Bear was in Star Wars?
    He was an Ewokka-wokka!
  • An Ewok strolls into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’ll have a whisky and… soda.”
    The bartender says, “Sure thing—but why the little pause?”
    “Dunno,” says the Ewok. “I’ve had them all my life.”

Star Wars jokes about droids

  • Why was the droid angry?
    People kept pushing its buttons.
  • Why is a droid mechanic never lonely?
    Because he’s always making new friends.
  • What is R2D2 short for?
    Because he has little legs.
  • What do you need to reroute droids?
  • What do you call a pirate droid?
    Arr-2 D2.
  • What do you call an invisible droid?
  • What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?
    R2 Detour.
  • Is BB hungry?
    No, BB-8.
  • Hear-Threepio.
  • Does R2D2 have any brothers?
    Nope, only transistors.
  • Did you know R2D2 loves to curse?
    They have to bleep out all his words.

Why Does Everyone Think the Millennium Falcon Is a Piece of Junk?

Star Wars jokes about ships (as if the Millennium Falcon wasn’t enough)

  • How did they get between floors on the Death Star?
    In the ele-Vader.
  • I saw a falcon eating avocado toast.
    Guess it’s a millennial falcon.
  • What do you call an over-powered janitorial stormtrooper in the Death Star?
    A Super Duper Pooper Trooper.
  • What kind of spaceship did Luke fly in grade school?
    An ABC-Wing.
  • What time is it when an AT-AT steps on your chronometer?
    Time to get a new chronometer.
  • What’s a rebel’s favorite TV talent show?
    X-wing Factor.
  • Why are Death Star pilots fed up with space battles?
    Because they always end up in a TIE.
  • Why is a gossip website like the Imperial Fleet?
    They’re both full of star destroyers.
  • Why should you never tell jokes on the Falcon?
    The ship might crack up.
  • Why was the Millennium Falcon easier to fly after The Force Awakens?
    It’s now Hans free.

  • Arthur S. Poe has been fascinated by fiction ever since he saw Digimon and read Harry Potter as a child. Since then, he has seen several thousand movies and anime, read several hundred books and comics, and played several hundred games of all genres.