Actresses Who Successfully Hid Their True Selves Throughout Decades of Straight Marriages
The glitz and glamour of Hollywood often mask the complex personal realities of its most famous stars. Many actresses have navigated long term marriages in the public eye while keeping significant aspects of their identity private for years or even decades. Whether facing internal conflicts about their orientation or dealing with hidden personal struggles these women maintained a professional facade while their true selves remained out of the spotlight. This list explores several notable figures who eventually shared their authentic stories with the world after years of living in the public eye within traditional marriage structures.
Meredith Baxter
The star of ‘Family Ties’ spent several decades in three different marriages to men before publicly coming out in 2009. She shared that she had been living a secret life for many years while maintaining a wholesome image on television. Her longest marriage lasted fifteen years and resulted in three children. Baxter later penned a memoir detailing her journey of self discovery and the challenges of being closeted in the entertainment industry. She has since become an advocate for the community and married her partner Susan DeLeon in 2013.
Cassandra Peterson
Best known for her iconic character in ‘Elvira’ this actress was married to her manager Mark Pierson for over twenty years. In her 2021 memoir she revealed that she had been in a committed relationship with a woman named Teresa Wierson for nearly two decades. Peterson explained that she kept the relationship private to protect her career longevity and the brand she had built. She feared that coming out would alienate her fan base or damage the gothic image she had carefully constructed for the public. Her announcement was met with widespread support from both the horror community and her long time fans.
Kelly McGillis
The ‘Top Gun’ actress was married to two different men over the course of several decades before coming out as a lesbian in 2009. She spent years trying to fit into the traditional Hollywood leading lady mold while privately struggling with her own identity. McGillis eventually stepped away from the spotlight to focus on her personal health and living an authentic life. She spoke candidly about how her faith and past experiences influenced her journey toward full self acceptance. Her transition into a more private life allowed her to live openly with her partner Melanie Leis for several years.
Cynthia Nixon
While she is now a prominent advocate for the community this ‘Sex and the City’ star spent fifteen years in a relationship with Danny Mozes. The couple had two children together before Nixon began a relationship with Christine Marinoni in 2004. She has described herself as an actress whose orientation did not change but rather her understanding of herself evolved over time. Nixon eventually married Marinoni in 2012 after years of living as a high profile couple in New York City. Her political and social activism has since become a defining part of her public identity.
Maria Bello
The ‘ER’ and ‘A History of Violence’ actress was in several high profile relationships with men and has a son from a long term partnership. In 2013 she wrote a moving piece for a major publication detailing her modern family and her relationship with a woman. She described the process of telling her son about her partner and the importance of being honest about her feelings. Bello has often rejected traditional labels and prefers to focus on the quality of her connections rather than gender. Her story highlighted the fluidity of identity even after years of following more conventional paths.
Portia de Rossi
Before her famous marriage to Ellen DeGeneres this ‘Arrested Development’ actress was married to documentary filmmaker Mel Metcalfe for three years. She admitted that the marriage was an attempt to hide her true self and fit into the expectations of a Hollywood actress. De Rossi struggled with an eating disorder and extreme anxiety while trying to maintain the secret of her orientation. She eventually chose to live authentically and has since become an advocate for body positivity and social justice. Her journey is documented in her memoir where she describes the relief of finally being herself.
Wanda Sykes
The celebrated comedian and actress in ‘The Upshaws’ was married to record producer Dave Hall for seven years during the 1990s. Sykes did not publicly come out until 2008 during a rally in California. She revealed that she had married her wife Alex Niedbalski shortly before the public announcement was made. Sykes has often used her platform to discuss the intersection of race and orientation in her comedy specials. Her ability to balance a mainstream career with her authentic life has made her a trailblazer in the industry.
Chyler Leigh
Known for her roles in ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ and ‘Supergirl’ this actress has been married to Nathan West since 2002. In 2020 she shared a deeply personal letter explaining how her character on screen helped her come to terms with her own queer identity. Leigh described the experience of being in a long term marriage while navigating these new realizations about her true self. She emphasized that her husband has been a pillar of support throughout her journey of self discovery. Her openness has resonated with fans who appreciate her honesty regarding the complexities of identity within a stable marriage.
Sarah Paulson
The ‘American Horror Story’ star was in a long term relationship with actor Cherry Jones and had previously been engaged to Tracy Letts. Paulson has spoken about how she does not want to label herself but acknowledges her history of relationships with both men and women. She has been in a high profile relationship with Holland Taylor since 2015. Paulson often discusses the importance of privacy while also refusing to hide who she loves from the public eye. Her career has flourished as she has embraced a more authentic and open way of living.
Anne Heche
Following a high profile relationship with Ellen DeGeneres the ‘Six Days Seven Nights’ actress married camerman Coley Laffoon in 2001. The marriage lasted for several years and resulted in a son before they eventually divorced. Heche often spoke about the fluidity of her identity and the challenges of being a pioneer for queer visibility in the late 1990s. She faced significant career backlash after going public with her feelings for women during a time of less social acceptance. Her life remained a subject of public fascination until her passing in 2022.
Rebel Wilson
The ‘Pitch Perfect’ star spent years in relationships with men before announcing her relationship with Ramona Agruma in 2022. She humorously noted that she thought she was searching for a prince but what she really needed was a princess. Wilson had been private about her dating life for many years while building a successful career as a comedic actress. She welcomed a daughter via surrogate later that year and has embraced her new role as a mother and partner. Her coming out story was seen as a positive moment of late blooming discovery.
Gillian Anderson
The ‘The X-Files’ and ‘The Crown’ star has been married to two men and had a long term partner with whom she shares children. Anderson has been open about her past relationships with women and identifies as bisexual. She has lived a very private life in London while maintaining a massive global fan base. Anderson often chooses roles that challenge societal norms and has spoken about the importance of being true to ones own desires. Her career has spanned decades of success while she navigated the nuances of her personal identity.
Anna Paquin
The ‘True Blood’ star married her co star Stephen Moyer in 2010 and the couple has twins. Shortly before their wedding Paquin came out as bisexual in a public service announcement for a charitable campaign. She has been vocal about the fact that being married to a man does not change her identity as a bisexual woman. Paquin continues to advocate for the visibility of bisexual people within the context of monogamous marriages. She has successfully balanced her high profile career with a stable and supportive family life.
Evan Rachel Wood
The ‘Westworld’ actress was married to actor Jamie Bell for two years and they share a son. Wood came out as bisexual in 2011 and has been a strong advocate for survivors of domestic violence and the community. She has discussed the misconceptions people have about bisexual individuals who are in relationships with the opposite sex. Wood has used her personal experiences to fuel her performances and her activism work. She remains a prominent voice in Hollywood for those who feel their identities are often misunderstood by the public.
Amber Heard
The ‘Aquaman’ actress was married to Johnny Depp and had a previous high profile relationship with photographer Tasya van Ree. Heard has always been open about her orientation and has stated that she does not believe in labeling herself strictly. Her personal life has been the subject of intense media scrutiny due to various legal battles and public disputes. Despite the controversy she has remained steadfast in her identity as a queer woman. Heard has often advocated for human rights and the importance of living an authentic life regardless of public opinion.
Drew Barrymore
The ‘Charlie’s Angels’ star has been married three times to men and has often spoken about her attraction to women. Barrymore came out as bisexual in the early 2000s and has discussed her past relationships with both genders candidly. She spent years in the public eye as a child star and later as a successful producer and actress. While her marriages were high profile she has always maintained that her heart is open to anyone she connects with. She currently hosts a popular talk show where she continues to share her life experiences with her viewers.
Angelina Jolie
The ‘Maleficent’ actress was married to Jonny Lee Miller and Billy Bob Thornton before her long term relationship and marriage to Brad Pitt. Jolie has been open about her past relationships with women and has never shied away from her bisexual identity. She has spent decades as a global icon known for her humanitarian work and her roles in major films. While much of her public life focused on her marriage to Pitt she has always been clear about her fluid identity. Jolie continues to be a powerful influence in both the entertainment world and international activism.
Salma Hayek Pinault
This celebrated actress and producer has been married to François Henri Pinault since 2009 and they share a daughter. While her public image often focuses on her beauty and red carpet appearances she has spent decades building a massive business empire. She successfully hid the full extent of her business acumen and intellectual drive until she became a major force in film production. Hayek Pinault has spoken about the challenges of being taken seriously as a woman of color in Hollywood while maintaining a traditional marriage. Her true self is a powerhouse mogul who carefully manages her family life and professional career.
Catherine, Princess of Wales
Formerly known as Kate Middleton she has been married to William, Prince of Wales for over a decade. Throughout her time in the royal family she has maintained a stoic and perfectly composed public persona while hiding personal health struggles. Most recently she revealed her battle with cancer after months of public speculation and a desire for privacy for her young children. She has successfully navigated the immense pressure of royal life while keeping her private emotions and family life guarded. Her true self is seen in her dedicated work for early childhood development and her resilience behind the palace walls.
Diana, Princess of Wales
The former wife of Charles, Prince of Wales lived much of her marriage in a state of hidden turmoil and personal struggle. While the world saw a fairy tale romance she was privately battling an eating disorder and profound unhappiness. Diana eventually chose to break the royal protocol of silence to share her true experiences with the public in a groundbreaking interview. Her honesty about her mental health and the reality of her marriage changed the way the public viewed the monarchy forever. She remains an enduring icon for her vulnerability and her commitment to humanitarian causes.
Meghan, Duchess of Sussex
The former ‘Suits’ actress married Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex in a globally televised ceremony in 2018. During her time as a working royal she hid deep mental health struggles and feelings of isolation from the public eye. It was only after stepping back from royal duties that she shared the extent of the challenges she faced within the institution. Her true self is a woman who prioritizes her mental well being and the protection of her family over traditional expectations. She continues to use her platform to discuss issues of race and equity through various media ventures.
Sophie B. Hawkins
The singer and actress known for ‘As I Lay Me Down’ spent many years in the public eye before discussing her fluid identity. She was in a long term relationship with her manager Gigi Gaston and has two children. Hawkins has often stated that she identifies as omnisexual and does not limit her attraction based on gender. She navigated the music and film industries during the 1990s when such openness was less common. Her career has been defined by her artistic independence and her commitment to living an authentic life.
Saffron Burrows
The ‘Deep Blue Sea’ and ‘Boston Legal’ actress was once engaged to actor Alan Cumming and had a relationship with director Mike Figgis. In 2014 she revealed that she had married her long time partner Alison Balian and that they had a son together. Burrows has spoken about the importance of being able to tell her own story on her own terms. She spent years working in both the United Kingdom and Hollywood while keeping her personal life largely out of the tabloids. Her career continues to thrive as she balances her acting work with her family life.
Kristy McNichol
The star of ‘Family’ and ‘Empty Nest’ was one of the biggest teen idols of the 1970s and 1980s. She spent decades living a private life after stepping away from the spotlight to deal with personal health issues. In 2012 she publicly came out as a lesbian and shared that she had been in a relationship with her partner Martie Allen for twenty years. McNichol explained that she wanted to be open about her life to help younger people who might be struggling with their own identities. She has since lived a quiet life focused on her family and her community work.
Fiona Shaw
The acclaimed actress from the ‘Harry Potter’ series and ‘Killing Eve’ was in a relationship with actress Saffron Burrows for several years. She later married her wife Sonali Deraniyagala in 2018. Shaw has spoken about how she did not realize she was gay until she was in her thirties and had lived a more conventional life until then. She is known for her intense and intelligent performances on both stage and screen. Her personal journey of self discovery occurred alongside a highly successful international acting career.
Cherry Jones
This award winning actress has been a mainstay on Broadway and in television shows like ’24’. She was in a high profile relationship with Sarah Paulson for several years and has been open about her orientation for decades. Jones has discussed the challenges of being out in the industry during earlier decades when it was less socially acceptable. She eventually married filmmaker Sophie Huber in 2015. Her career is a testament to the fact that talent and authenticity can lead to long term success in Hollywood.
Holland Taylor
The ‘Two and a Half Men’ and ‘The Practice’ star has had a long and prestigious career in film and television. She spent many years being private about her personal life before confirming her relationship with Sarah Paulson. Taylor has noted that she has lived a very full life and has never hidden who she is but rather simply did not feel the need to make public announcements. She continues to work steadily and is admired for her wit and her contributions to the acting craft. Her relationship with Paulson has been celebrated for its visibility and the couples mutual support.
Lily Tomlin
The legendary comedian and star of ‘Grace and Frankie’ has been with her partner Jane Wagner since 1971. Although she did not have a high profile straight marriage she spent decades in the public eye while being relatively private about her relationship. Tomlin and Wagner eventually married in 2013 after forty two years together. She has always been a trailblazer for women in comedy and has used her humor to touch on various social issues. Her long term partnership is considered one of the most stable and enduring in Hollywood.
Jodie Foster
The two time Academy Award winner began her career as a child actress and spent decades as one of the most private figures in Hollywood. She was in a long term partnership with Cydney Bernard for fifteen years and they share two sons. Foster famously used a speech at an awards ceremony to acknowledge her private life and her deep connection to those who have supported her. She married photographer Alexandra Hedison in 2014. Her career remains a benchmark for excellence and she continues to be a respected director and actress.
Margaret Cho
The comedian and star of ‘All American Girl’ was married to artist Al Ridenour for over a decade. Throughout her marriage and career she has been open about her bisexuality and her fluid approach to relationships. Cho has often used her stand up comedy to discuss the complexities of being a queer woman of color in a traditional marriage structure. She has been a tireless advocate for the community and has never shied away from discussing her true self. Her marriage eventually ended in 2014 and she continues to be a prominent voice in the entertainment industry.
Please share your thoughts on these incredible journeys in the comments.