Colbert’s Cheeky Advice For Migrants Is Inspired by ICE Fitness Test
On Wednesday night, Stephen Colbert had a good laugh about the fitness test needed to join ICE, the Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency.
He shared a clever tip for immigrants based on what he found out. According to a report from CBS, Colbert pointed out that President Trump is still causing fear with his ICE raids across the country and wants more people to join the raids. But there’s a problem: a lot of people trying to join ICE are failing the fitness test.
Colbert explained that to pass the ICE fitness test, you need to do 15 push-ups, 32 sit-ups, and run 1.5 miles in 14 minutes. Then he dropped his big tip for immigrants: “Well, there’s a hot tip for immigrants! Learn to run 1.6 miles and ICE can never catch you.”
He even joked that the high failure rate should push recruits to try harder. He did a funny impression of a tough instructor, saying, “All right, cadets, look to your left. Now look to your right. Now take a break. You guys must be exhausted!”
The CBS report also mentioned an ICE official who said the recruits are so bad at fitness that he calls them “athletically allergic.” Colbert thought that was hilarious and said he could relate. “You laugh, but that’s a real thing. I’m allergic to athletic!” he quipped.
“That’s why I always carry my Epi-Garlic Breadstick.”Colbert didn’t stop there. He also made fun of Trump for trying to sue his own Justice Department for $230 million, wrecking the East Wing of the White House, and getting an award called the Richard Nixon Architect of Peace Award, which Colbert sarcastically said he’d “definitely heard of before.”
You can check out the full video on YouTube.
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