Demi Lovato Reflects on Dating a 30 Year Old Wilmer Valderrama When She Was Just 18

During a candid conversation on the latest episode of the Baby, This Is Keke Palmer podcast, Demi Lovato voiced a critical perspective on the significant age gap in one of her most famous former relationships.

The 33-year-old singer, who has recently reached a major milestone in her recovery from an eating disorder, analyzed the power imbalance inherent when a teenager dates a much older adult.

While the Camp Rock star didn’t identify her ex-boyfriend by name during the interview, the circumstances align with her long-term romance with Wilmer Valderrama. The two famously had a twelve-year age difference, beginning their relationship when Lovato was just 18, and the actor was 30.

Reflecting on her journey as a child star, Lovato noted that the industry made it difficult to find time for normal activities, though when she did find leisure time, she played pretty hard. Keke Palmer joined the discussion by noting how young stars often find themselves in dating situations that feel normal at the time but look concerning in retrospect.

Palmer recalled being 15 and questioning why she had a 20-year-old boyfriend, prompting Lovato to counter with an even more extreme example from her own life. Why was my boyfriend 30? You know what I’m saying? she asked, pointing out that young celebrities often felt only older people could understand the unique pressures they faced.

However, the singer admitted that reaching her own third decade changed her outlook entirely, noting that when I turned 30, I was like, “That’s not okay.” Palmer agreed, suggesting that reaching adulthood often brings a realization that one was being taken advantage of or even exploited while trying to navigate an adult-oriented job as a child.

Lovato noted that the illusion of maturity often makes these relationships feel acceptable to the younger person, especially if you are an older soul, too. She pointed listeners toward her 2022 track 29, which serves as a musical indictment of age-gap dynamics and the blurred lines of consent.

The song includes lyrics that explicitly state 17 would never cross my mind, contrasting her current adult boundaries with the teenage dream fantasy she lived out years ago. This marks a sharp change from her 2017 documentary, where she recalled being 17 and thinking I love this man and I have to have him, despite his initial insistence on waiting until she was legal.

Following her split from Valderrama in 2016 and her subsequent survival of a near-fatal overdose in 2018, Lovato has built a significantly more grounded personal life. In May 2025, she married musician Jordan “Jutes” Lutes in Santa Barbara, wearing a stunning Vivienne Westwood gown for the occasion.

The singer has shared that her relationship with Lutes happened organically and has relieved the pressure she once felt to be married by a specific age. She recently gushed that she has never been more in love and that her husband is the person she was always meant to find at the perfect time.

Currently, the multi-platinum artist is gearing up for her “It’s Not That Deep Tour,” which is set to launch on April 13 in Orlando. While she has had to cancel certain dates, such as an upcoming show in North Carolina, to protect my health, the tour remains a major focus for her this spring.

Fans can also see more of her on the screen, as she starred in the project titled Child Star, a documentary exploring the highs and lows of those who grew up in the spotlight. She directed the project alongside Nicola Marsh, featuring interviews with other former child actors about their shared experiences.

As she moves through various cities across the U.S. and Canada until late May, Lovato continues to prioritize her mental and physical well-being. Her recent candidness about her past serves as a testament to her ongoing growth and her commitment to helping others recognize similar patterns in their own lives.

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