‘A Mouthful of Air’ Ending Explained: Where Is Julie’s Depression Coming From?

Welcome to the Ending Explained for ‘A Mouthful of Air,’ a 2021 psychological drama starring Amanda Seyfried, Finn Wittrock, Jennifer Carpenter, and Paul Giamatti. The film is written and directed by Amy Koppelman, based on the novel of the same name written by Koppelman herself. The film marks the writer’s debut as a director. The film is very much the adaptation of a novel, as it jumps back and forth in time and uses these separate timelines to tell its story. This mimics the often plotless nature of a literary novel.

‘A Mouthful of Air’ is an excellent directorial debut. Koppelman knows the story she is trying to tell very well and takes advantage of every resource that goes through her mind. However, sometimes the movie feels like it is going too much into the “make you cry” direction in not a very subtle way, which might take some out of the picture. Thankfully, Koppelman had the fortune of casting Amanda Seyfried in the main role. Seyfried is one of her generation’s most underrated great actors, and here she continues to cement herself as a fantastic actress who kills it in every role.

The following paragraphs contain spoilers for ‘A Mouthful of Air.’ Read at your own risk.

Why does Julie try to take her life?

The movie begins with a warning. This is the story of someone suffering from depression and it is going to a dark place. So, with this warning, Koppelman sets the expectations of the film very clearly. This will be a dark tale, and our main character, a young woman named Julie, will not be well.

Sadly. We know this from the film’s start, which makes Julie’s struggles so devastating. We know she is suffering from something she cannot fully express. We want to help, but we can’t, and no matter what we do, she will take her life.

Julie is married to a young man named Ethan, and they seem very much in love. From the outside, you could say they are the perfect couple. They are also parents. They have managed to create a life in the shape of a boy named Teddy. However, things start to take a dark turn.

We see that Julie is starting to suffer from anxiety; she has difficulty breathing, and it seems like the world is toppling on her, closing in more and more with each passing second. Julie is not happy; something dark is eating at her. She leaves Teddy with his toys, then goes to a separate room and uses a scalpel on her wrists.

We don’t see it, but we know what happens next when Ethan arrives home to find his wife almost dead. Ethan’s arrival saves Julie’s life, but everything is different now. While he still loves her, Ethan must be cautious at every step. He worries that if he leaves her alone with Teddy, something bad might happen again. Friends and family try to act most politely, but we know what they are thinking, and Julie knows. They wonder why she did it and if she might do it again.

Ethan’s sister, Lucy, is the only one who confronts her directly, but Lucie doesn’t know how to express her misery. For someone who is depressed, it is very hard to explain what is happening to them.

Their experiences are unique and very individualistic. No one else will ever understand what is happening in Julie’s head. She starts taking medication but feels that the pills transform her into something she is not. Her mother helps her raise young Teddy, and soon, we jump in time again.

Where is Julie’s depression coming from?

It is hard to understand where depression comes from. There can be many sources and many triggers. It depends on the individual, for sure. In this case, Julie seems to be triggered by her feeling of inadequacy. She feels that she is not a good mother. She feels any other person can better raise young Teddy than her. These feelings might be irrational. It is clear that Julie loves her child, yet, in a matter of a blink, this feeling can overwhelm her and have serious consequences, like when she tries to kill herself.

Julie and Ethan get pregnant again, and Julie decides to stop her medication while she is pregnant. This goes against the psychiatrist’s suggestion, but she does it anyway. Everybody is on the edge, but they might feel this is the best opportunity for Julie to improve.

When Julie discovers she will have a daughter next, she freaks out. She starts thinking about what will happen if her daughter doesn’t like her. Ethan tries to stop these thoughts the best she can, but we can see that Julie is overcome by fear.

Julie brings Rachel to this earth. She is a beautiful baby, and everyone seems happy. Julie is a bit stressed out by simple things like choosing the color of Rachel’s room, but she is again on medication. It is here that the movie begins to reveal what the source of Julie’s depression is. We see a flashback to when she was young. Julie seems to have a great relationship with her dad, but these flashbacks suddenly become violent and even creepy. Julie’s mom brings Julie’s dad to see Rachel. Julie is baffled that her mother is giving her father another chance.

The movie begins to imply that Julie was not only abused on a physical level by her father but also sexually abused. This could be the reason why Julie believes she cannot be a good mother. Things keep moving, but sadly, one day, when Ethan takes Teddy for pizza, and Julie stays with Rachel, she takes her life successfully. Ethan arrives to see the tragedy in her backyard. The movie ends with Rachel, now an adult, giving birth to her own baby. Ethan, Teddy, and Rachel read one of the children’s books Julie used to write, where she says that even when they cannot see her, she will be there with them.