Daily Bugle’s Article That Exposed Spider-Man’s Identity Now Can Be Fully Read

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Marvel fans still remember July 2019, when Spider-Man: Far From Home finished on quite a note. The post-credit scene of the movie showed J.K. Simmons’ J.J. Jameson revealing Spider-Man’s secret identity to the world. And that was the end of the movie. Just like Peter Parker, fans were probably also like: “What the f…”!

Now, two and a half years later, it’s time for the story to continue. But where to now? Spider-Man’s identity is out in the world, and that’s not even the worst. He was also framed for Mysterio’s murder. Seems like a hopeless situation.

Now, for the promotion of the upcoming movie Spider-Man: No Way Home. Sony released the full article written by J.J. Jameson. Spider-Man fans know who J.J. Jameson is – the biggest Spider-Man hater ever. The character that was always a part of Spider-Man’s mythology, and only one actor played the character in live-action – J.K. Simmons.

Simmons debuted as Jameson in Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man, and reprised the role in two sequels. Simmons’ portrayal of the character was so strong that made him a fan-favorite character despite his generally annoying arguments and hate he’s always throwing at the web-crawler. Simmons played the character so well that they didn’t even want to recast him, so now he’ll return to try to turn everyone against Holland’s Spider-Man just like he tried with Maguire’s almost two decades ago.

Maniac. Menace. Mystery? No more! That’s right, true Buglers! Ever since the masked marauder masquerading as Spider-Man dangled with impunity above our city streets – without a permit, might I add – and took the law into his own web-covered hands, yours truly worked tirelessly to de-mask the myth and reveal the truth. And now we have. Peter Parker. Just a boy. 

And now that the coward has been unmasked, will he do his civic duty and answer for his egregious crimes? Will he use his great power to join the police force? The fire department? Fat chance! Will Peter Parker take responsibility for the vandalism and destruction of property those powers have left smoking in his wake? Ha! Don’t make me laugh! 

Parker wore a mask because he refuses to answer for his actions. He kept his identity hidden because he views himself as above the law. But if the Constitution doesn’t allow citizens to vote until they’ve reached the age of 18, why would we continue to let a child decide who is saved and who is guilty? 

We know he’s made mistakes before. Just ask Quentin Beck. Oh, wait, you can’t! ‘Cause Spidey killed him! So if you don’t want to be next, dear reader, join me in this call to the unmasked red-tight-wearing monster: 

Peter Parker, we are the public, and we will be YOUR judge and YOUR jury. Call the tip line, folks. Let Parker know you’re watching. 

J. Jonah Jameson, Editor in Chief


Tom Holland Already Has An Idea For ‘Spider-Man 4’

Tom Holland’s Spider-Man now needs to get out of this situation, and he’ll ask Doctor Strange for help, which will open the doors to the Multiverse, which will unleash a whole new set of problems. We’ll see how will all that play out once the movie arrives in theaters this Friday.

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